Meditation for healing

 I started meditating in Brasov, in 2016. I had some incredible experiences and it generally helped me deal with myself and with thoughts and ideas that were keeping me behind. Unfortunately, like many people, I ignore the things that make me feel good, mainly because they demand time that I'd rather devote in something else, oftentimes totally useless (eternal scrolling of the broken self). 

Twenty days ago, I tested positive. The first feeling I had was of utter anger that I couldn't manage. This continued for days, blaming my mother, who was already sick, that she foolishly contracted the virus although I had done everything possible to keep her safe for years. Once the symptoms worsen, I felt completely surrendered to the effects of the virus on my body. Pain and fever became my companions for days, leaving my body broken.

Twenty days later, I find it hard to walk on a slightly inclined sidewalk. My heart races, I have arrhythmia and I'm breathless. Feeling my body so weak, depression has started taking over. I was very patient with all the Covid symptoms, but I became very impatient regarding the post-Covid symptoms. I wanted to get back to where I was before, walk 30k steps a day, jog under the sun and enjoy my life. My body, though, has other plans for me. It needs rest and baby steps. This is the period of convalescence, physically and mentally. 

Once I understood that I was unable to hear the needs of my body and the dark clouds of depression hovered over me, I decided to return to my old practice, my meditation sessions. To be honest, I had a few ones that weren't productive. Time that I spent trying to relax, but my monkey brain was racing and it only gave me added anxiety. Knowing that this is only a phase, I continued my efforts and finally this morning, I had a very liberating session.

After minutes of monkey brain conversation, anxiety and heart racing, I finally was able to shift my perception and I slowly started to abort my physical body, feeling light, almost invisible. My hands weren't touching each other and my body wasn't sitting. I was nothing. The inner dialogue ceased and suddenly my neck cracked and my head turned involuntarily in several spasms. The energy flow felt restored and a heatwave rushed from the lower part of my abdominal all the way to my arms, my hands, my fingers, my spine and my face. I felt calm, the way I haven't been for a very long time. 

I  ended my session after 30 minutes, but I could continue floating for hours. I can feel the effect of inner peace and stability, love and understanding. I feel compassion and I'm invulnerable to negativity. I can feel the energy flowing and the base of my head free from the invisible burden it was carrying. 

As if arranged by some force that I can't comprehend, the lady who owned the apartment came over and we talked. She had so much love about her family and for the world, even for people who hurt her. I felt so inspired by our conversation, an added gift to my meditation. 

Thank you Ms C. for this pleasant morning and thank you Glen for introducing me to meditation. You're my light in a world of darkness that I sometimes sink in.